Shock! Deep shock was what I felt for a long long time when one of those relationships in my past ended. God, wasn't that relationship all shades you? How we met, how it came to be and how you've given me words concerning him and it? God, I thought you said, I wasn't going to know that kind of pain anymore - the heartbreaking, soul tearing kind that makes you wish you can just sleep for eighty days straight! Warisdis (What is this)?? It was the 5th relationship and it ended just at the wrongest of seasons, on the wrongest of days - Valentine's day. I had just returned from preaching/teaching at a youth conference were I was invited to speak . And oh, I taught with all I had and am. I was born for this you know? How can "God" allow this to be my "Weldone good and faithful servant" back pat? I could have been any where else "fucking" the hell outta some fine guy; but I rather went to win souls for you; yet you let m...